The subject, more than left, feels like victim, deceived, frustrated in its vanity because it secretly exerted a self-centred dominion on his pair, was believed " dueo" or " propietario" of this one, which – now " has been freed unexpectedly and without his; permiso" of him. In addition sometimes, as the deceived one feels terrible hidden desires of infidelity and, on the other hand, " is created; mejor" or " superior" to the other /a, will not stop to despise it and to attack it by envy. Which, to make matters worse, blows continuously to the ear without self-esteem of the victim: " You are not worth sufficient, your rival was better, cleared the power to you, hopefully you you were like him, hopefully he would be dead so that she did not do sombra" to you;. And this the deceived one hates yet and it torments itself without rest (and still more when, in addition, it undergoes paranoides characteristics). Disgusted not " puede" to pardon – he is to say, does not want hacerlo-, because he needs hatred to continue feeling like important and superior; in order to continue conserving its fictitious " control" on the things. In fact, this one was always its basic eagerness – to control to its pair, and its inexhaustible resentment is a test that its love never was, after all, too much hard (the narcisistas cannot love, and partly that is why its pair moved away of them). For that reason, in short, the thousand pleas and repentances of the unfaithful one, or even its definitive return to house, they console, neither they affect, nor they calm the resentment of the narcisista victim (1). How to cure this wound? How to leave the trap? The most immature people never will pardon, but they will choose the punishment, the revenge, the definitive rupture.
The most evolved they will prefer the love recovered (and the solution of the reasons that produced the infidelity) to the passed humiliation, and they will reach La Paz soon. The problem is in the people who undergo an inner dilemma between their strong self-centred tendencies and his equally strong loving dispositions. What to do? In what direction to advance? In my opinion, only in the measurement that these people obtain to choose, to solve their dilemma, either touching bottom in their pain, or by means of a personal growth (often with the help of a psycotherapy), will be able to cure definitively their pain. _ _ 1. This attitude can cause a new infidelity, and so on. Original author and source of the article.